‘Survivor’s Remorse’ needs some awareness, like, now …

survivors remorse image

Recently “Survivor’s Remorse,” a show that airs on the STARZ TV network, had some dialogue which was quite belittling of anyone with a cleft lip and cleft palate.

The terms “fucked-up mouth” and “snaggleteeth” and “weird lips” were used to describe people like me.

Really?

I’m not sure what the point behind the writer’s words were. If they were trying to do their best “shock jock” type of vignette, then they succeeded.

Yes, you want to see the clip don’t you?

This comes via Facebook as posted by Rya Medassist:

There, you can see it for yourself.

I do want to let the producers and actors in “Survivor’s Remorse,” as well as those in charge at STARZ, that people like me with cleft lips and cleft palates have overcome a lot in our lives. We are brave, talented and gifted people. In fact, one of the stage and screen’s best actors ever — Stacy Keach — was himself born with a cleft lip or cleft palate or both. He’s done pretty damn well in front of the screen and in front of live audiences for a long, long time.

My intention in writing this post is to raise awareness, though. I am not writing this to wag my finger in your faces. I just want you all to know that there are people, real people, who have come a long way to simply live and, yes, breathe.

I make an open offer to any producer or actor involved with “Survivor’s Remorse” to reach out to me and have a conversation. Of course, I realize it is simply television and you are just doing a show for entertainment purposes. Take a minute … like, one minute … and consider what words you do write into the show. As a writer myself, I can appreciate the creative process … but at the detriment of 1 in 600 children who are born with a cleft lip or cleft palate daily?

Please.

Thanks for reading this.

To the international cleft and craniofacial community … just know that you are loved right where you are as you read this. Every minute counts, and you are loved.

Peace,

Joe Rutland

Host, “CleftCast”

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/CleftCast

What do you want out of life?

Before running off to the hills and really scratching your head to see if this has ANYTHING to do with the facial difference community … just breathe.

It’s important that you ask this question of yourself. What do you want out of life? This life that you and I roll along through every day was meant to be enjoyed and not endured. Hell, everyone of us in the cleft/craniofacial/facial difference community has endured a lot. Children, adults, parents, guardians … you name it. Fear, anger, joy, sadness, loss, grief, laughter and ambivalence all crop up in the emotional register of our hearts.

Yet you have a golden opportunity, no matter what your age, race, creed, color, religious or non-religious persuasion, or whatever, to totally rewrite the script of your life.

What do you want out of life? Let us sit with this question. No … I mean it. You sit with it, I’ll sit with it. We’ll come up with our own answers. Then, see if there is a little, tiny action that can be taken in that direction. More love, more peace, more prosperity, more satisfaction … it’s all for the getting.

Just ponder the question.

Blessings,

Joe

Smile a little more …

While it is difficult at times to smile, whether it is because of dealing with surgeries, life issues or difficult emotions, there is something warm and compassionate toward yourself when it comes to smiling.

It is something that I have a hard time doing in my life because I do have a tendency to take everything so seriously. A number of weeks ago, I had a chance to be around a couple that held a special balance between having fun and being responsible. They could laugh with their kids while also maintaining a sense of handling moments that would cause others to stress or freak out.

They laughed a lot, too.

In this facial difference world, there’s always so damned  much to be serious about. Yet I do know that parents and children alike do their best to find moments of happiness.

I’d just like to encourage all of the children, adults and parents within the cleft, craniofacial and facial difference community around the world to … hopefully … smile a little more today and every day.

Happiness is important. It’s not something to throw out the door or forget about. Not in the least. You are as just as deserving of happiness as myself. We’ve been through our tough roads and journeys. Give yourself a break and smile, feel happy and know that you are loved.

Blessings and peace,

Joe

An update … please read …

Hi friends …

Thanks for your continued support of the cleft, craniofacial and facial difference community in the United States and around the world.

It has been quite a while since I have posted anything on this blog. Life, for me, has been a myriad of ups and downs in the past few months. What I have been through has humbled me … a lot … and left me learning more life lessons along the path.

I’ve relocated back to my home state of Texas, where I am working at a job now. I’m in a gypsy-ish mode now, too, and have not landed in an actual new home or apartment as of this writing. There have been many, many people who have been most gracious to me during this time. Their support and care is not forgotten on my end at all.

As for “CleftCast,” no, I have not forgotten about it either. Through my travails, it just has not been done. My intention is to get a new podcast up this month (July 2015) and then be back in the routine of posting them on a weekly basis.

For now, that’s about it. I believe that it would behoove me to take some of my own medicine and remember that every minute does count and, like you, I am loved.

Blessings and peace,

Joe

New Product: “How To Observe Your Child’s Emotions” e-book available …

question baby

Greetings everyone!

I have some truly exciting news to share with you all.

I’ve just launched a new e-book titled “How To Observe Your Child’s Emotions.” It is available right now at Cool Cat Training, a website that’s dedicated to trainings revolving around child development and baby development issues.

This e-book will offer parents of children ranging from infancy through 3 years old six steps by which they can gauge not only their child’s emotional state but theirs, too.

This is the first of a series of e-books dedicated to this as it will follow along the lines of what I have been sharing on “CleftCast” over the past year.

At the site, you also will be seeing videos, new material, new e-books and books over time.

I’d welcome anyone to head on over to Cool Cat Training today and pick up a copy of “How To Observe Your Child’s Emotions.”

Thanks for all of your support. It truly means a lot to me.

Every minute counts … and you are loved.

Blessings and peace,

Joe

The Question …

I imagine many parents rustle out of bed in the mornings and check on their children, whether it is to get them ready for school or take care of a medical situation.

The strain of yesterday’s pains may have drifted out of them, but some still remain. They take a look at their child with love and compassion and ask “What can I do for you?” Not in a forceful or mean way (at least I hope not!), yet more in a way to get information.

This question can also be asked by someone who is older, say an adult, and has no significant other in his or her life.

“What can I do for you?” turns into a powerful, affirming question to ask. It is not silly nor is it vanity. This simply calls upon you asking yourself what can be done to help you today … in this moment.

A lot of times, my mystical mind races 1,000 steps ahead of where I am in the present. I start fretting and worrying about where the next dollars are coming from. Am I worthy of a loving, intimate relationship with a woman? When will the scars of life heal fully? Am I worth a million dollars?

The question for myself, and the question for yourself, will take a different form and shape. One thing I can say is this: Not asking solid questions in your life and getting clarity around what you want will definitely cause more pain than success.

In the cleft and craniofacial community, our pain lies not only on the physical realm but in the soul realm, too. The insecurities and anxieties that litter our insides are just mind-boggling. Yet they do not have to be that way. We can share our insecurities with one another. We can actually talk about what is going on inside ourselves and open up to the real possibility of healing and wholeness.

Everyone around the world in the cleft and craniofacial community is worthy of healing, love, light, forgiveness and peace. Even those people we differ with on certain social and political issues … we can, I believe, wish one another the gift of love. For some of us, it might be from many, many miles away as well. Safety first!

Every minute counts … and you are loved.

Why I do this …

It is all about the heart.

It is all about the heart.

Some people might wonder why I am so dedicated to the emotional issues surrounding the people in the international cleft and craniofacial community.

Well, the answer is pretty simple. It comes from an internal desire to raise awareness of facial differences and align myself with like-minded people and organizations.

I feel quite grateful and thankful many of you have discovered “CleftCast” and are listening to it.

Yet there is more on the way. More services and products to help you, my friends, tap into the emotional areas of your hearts and bodies in healthy ways.

Whether a child, adolescent, young adult or adult with a cleft and craniofacial anomaly, the coming days and weeks are going to give you more resources for your life.

Parents, you have not been forgotten in this area, either. You have a lot of stress and issues to deal with on your own.

I’d suggest to keep checking back here because more is on the way.

Podcasts, ebooks, downloadable PDFs, etc. These will help you in your own emotional journey.

Until then …

Every minute counts … and you are loved.